love resume. (Part I- Public)

a creature of habit above all else
easy to laugh
and in a committed relationship with my computer and my job.
Like an iceberg mostly under the surface and misunderstood

Finding strength when unexpected and passionate power from the most unlikely places. Competent and brave in certain circles; a bit of a mess and a total wimp in others. I am good at what I do and I know who I am.
Mastering the planet and defying gravity while making a home and a life for myself here. Surrounded by beauty in its various forms and empowered by difficulty. Strengthened by adversity and honed to a delicate, dedicated machine… if not a finely tuned one.

Like a turtle withdrawing into its shell at the slightest sign of danger and then being afraid of the dark, I create my own darkness and my own danger. But I always come out again. And somehow I have become highly self-aware. Perhaps from all the hours of quiet contemplation.

I forget my capacity and my influence, my power and my gifts. Today was a day of monumental growth. It happened without even knowing it. I just walked up and opened my mouth. Without even knowing what to say or how to say it and the lights all came on at once. Like it was coming through me. I spoke with honest respect, with sharp honesty and with tender compassion. It is so rare and so critical that we do this. There are so many other things that get wrapped up in our words; frustration, exhaustion, cynicism, yearning, disappointment and fear. The meaning and the blessedness gets lost in the words and the intended significance is lost forever, wrapped and tangled in something else entirely.

When meaning is lost, so is connection. When connection is lost we are all alone. And in a world full of people, where contact is so vital and so thwarted there is nothing sadder than love lost in words, strangled in communication – gone wrong.

Words are not the only threat to meaning and communication.
It is with our words, our eyes and our touch. We have to form our words with intention and simultaneously our bodies and lives have to translate that sentiment and communicate the same thing- or else our intention gets lost in the contradictions.

I am good at loving.
I need to get better at receiving, but I can give love with the best of them.
I did my part today even without meaning to. I gave three true gifts today, speaking honestly and clearly to people who are important to me.
It is the honesty, even when it is not pretty, that is the most critical.
They need to know I care about them. That is what it means to care.