August 4, 2008

4.2.07 Army of Faith


Tonight I scour the city with my army of faith. We search for a place that does not exist to reach a place that is so far it may not be at all. We desire something that can not be, they even more than me because they are an army of faith…. And have hope and wonderment, where I have the decided defeat well rooted in me from the first moment, from the first sign… and as much as I wish for them to be right, and this is why I follow them to the ends of the earth and back, I am sorry to report that I am correct in my acceptance of defeat. Now at least it can be said that we tried… and that there isn’t any possibility that we did not try. All meeting the same fate and the same result. Mei you. Nothing. Not have. All means the same thing. You can’t get what you want. You cant have it you cant have it you cant have it youcanthaveityoucanthaveityoucanthaveit. Ok. Ok. It is no big deal. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.
But my army of faith is just that. An army of faith. Nothing if not determined. Armed with weapons of persistence. Spears of hope. Arrows of truth. Cannons. Of diligence. Bombing failure. And the army grows. And with it the strength and resilience and unyielding determination to bring me to my destination. Pulling me, literally at moments into the darkness and into the light. Into the hope. And through the despair.
Into the night. The same result. mei you. Nothing. Not have. All means the same thing.
An army of faith defeated.
Is there anything more disappointing. Mei you.

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