All it has to be is real.

I have written a manual, a document that servers as an introduction to my eccentricities, my life, my heart and as best as a 30-page document can, an introduction to my soul. It has been a process that has unwrapped some things for me, that has allowed me to plunge, dive deep into some of my unexplored waters and most of all it is the first place where I have admitted certain things – all things that I know to be true and often make extraordinary efforts to conceal.

I enjoyed this process in all aspects: the writing and visioning, the jokes and the truth, the moments of doubt and hesitation and the moments of complete forgiveness where I could just be without judgment (if only to myself); I enjoyed the laughing and the crying and maybe most of all the terror I felt as I prepared to share it. I often guard against these strong feelings, any strong feelings, but this was delicious-ridiculousness and I savored every drop of anxiety.

I have shared myself completely with someone. I have removed all barriers and exposed all wounds. I have admitted faults and weakness and perhaps celebrated some strengths as well. I have embraced the beauty that is me, that makes me this perfectly strong, tender mess of affection and fear. I have been real with another person, and in doing so I have permitted myself to become more of who I am. It is nice to trust.

I have the trust that has been lacking for so long. I have trust in myself. With that I can share; from trust in myself I can explore and expand, wander and invite others in to explore the life I live.

The manual (and the process of writing it) has given me a new direction and a new faith in movement. If I had always kept it safe and only written it for myself it would have been a treasure, but it increases in value when shared.

It does not have to be comprehensive,
It does not have to fit a formula or mold,
It does not have to be anything--
Except honest
And true.
It has to be you as best you can.