Operator's Manual

How to write an operator's manual: a “ME” handbook
This is a concept I have played with for several years. It has occurred to me that we should each come with some sort of user’s guide, manual or handbook. It might eliminate some of the romantic tensions, as well as any other social mishaps. I live with two women, purely by chance, because we each got a job at the same international school. We have gotten to know each other through experience but might have faired better with some sort of introduction.
The same approach could be applied to potential friends or lovers. Especially lovers and partners need to know what they are getting and sometimes our packaging or sales pitches can be deceiving. Maybe the entire fun is discovering the surprises, but I have never been big on surprises. To come with a operator’s manual might increase the rate of success. Since I know I don’t come with a money back guarantee I have begun to compose the first draft of such a document. Writing it may too present some interesting realizations as well.
I think I might borrow some ideas from Ikea. In simple pictures without the complication of language, check to make sure you have all the right parts. Then for easy assembling start at one end and put things together, a little bit at a time. But I am afraid I can’t be explained entirely in pictures. So sadly, there will also have to be a section of instructions spelled out… and also a few warnings. Keep in a cool dry place, (where the sun shines regularly). Do not operate under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Everything in moderation… including moderation. Risk of shock if plugged in while wet. Handle with care. This side up.
This, as I said, is just a first draft. Unfortunately, it is not possible to write it all; at this point there is so much undiscovered territory, and I suppose that is the best part… it is building a machine and assembling it, without knowing exactly what it will become or what it can do, but this is how to put it together and here are some suggestions to get things started, from there you are on your own to discover how and what, where and when, because even all that can’t be guaranteed.